Pictures by J Roy and Rupsha B Roy
Words by Rupsha B Roy
Edited by Namzzz
"And suddenly you just know it's time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings."
I woke up saying to myself, "Another day to somehow survive" but then the realization came pouring in. I'm not unhappy anymore, the things once perturbed me weren't there anymore and waking up to a new day wasn't too bad. I was happier and content. I still have work to do and places to go and I'll be walking for a while but the constant dark cloud above my head was left, far behind. That I don't mind walking or the journey or the destination. This time, I'll sit down on the bench, watch the rain fall over mountain but I won't feel timid, crushed beneath it all. So I sat down with the piles of photographs taken back in December and watched how winter changed into summer all along while changing me and my world.
I have been so many different versions of someone, even I didn't...couldn't discern. At times, the dreamer in me deluded myself into believing that I could fly only to let me fall face down on the floor, some days the dreamer would be dead and gone. All I knew throughout was that 'change' is indeed inevitable, Summer knows my desire for change, not merely because I enjoy it. Not at all but because changes makes me feel and I'm constantly terror-stricken that I'm not feeling alive enough.
The power we give to that change into shaping us the person we're going to be or the down the path it takes us is entirely upon us. And despite all the times I've said to my friends that my happiness and the way my life works out is never in my hands, while partially in the vastness of universe that might be true, somehow I got the concept entirely wrong. Maybe it was because of the over-romanticism of mental illnesses on Tumblr or the idea that heartbreaks helped me create art. I was wrong. You're gonna have to hold your own hand and chase your dreams and be the person you want to be and to love yourself.....in the right way.
Every once in a while, someone else will come around and make you believe that you're stronger than you think you are, they'll fortify you in loving yourself and you'll find the strength to not push them away and to let them be there for you. Sometimes you'll be thankful for the 'change' and believe in the magic of beginnings and you will know that you'll survive it all without sabotaging yourself in the process and people who love you, will be there with you all along the way. You'll realize that you may not be where you intended to be but you're where you need to be.
This is my life and I just wanted you to know that I'm a happy lil' peach....hope you are too.