30 July 2014


Origami Skirt by me, Shoes-Forever New
[Photography by the talented Jhuma B.]
There had been these episodes of inexplicable emotions that I've faced every time I would close my eyes and there would be this image of a place(Victorian gardens and water fountains) flash in front of my eyes, an event in a familiar place that I've never really been to or experienced but it has almost actually happened. As if I knew about that place and how it smells, I knew the entire path even though I can see only one particular frame of that memory. Mostly, these memories encounter me with an emotion very close to peaceful, rather hopeful. I've always wondered if these memories are something that happens only with me and I should be worried or if it has a deeper meaning than just the word "imaginations". Tavi Gevinson wrote a similar post about it on April 3rd 2013.

She discusses the topic more deeply, including some quotes that has meant a lot to me over my course of "where-the-hell-are-these-memories-coming-from-and-why-do-I-like-them-so-much" contemplation. A few of my Google searched quotes are: "Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were but without it we go nowhere" by Carl Sagan and "Imagination and fiction make up more than three quarters of our real life" by Simon Weil. Tavi mentions a very important question in her post, quoting, "Where do these episodes come from? A past life? An innate discontentment with everything life already offers, combined with a form of voluntary synesthesia developed from an adolescence of perpetual loneliness manifesting itself in movie marathons and an inconvenient impulse to pay attention to every visual and auditory detail of every situation as an escape from the social interaction at hand?" These memories can fall under one of these three categories(or at least it is in my case). 1. Imagination, 2. Dreams, 3. Secondhand(movies/books/story telling). I have always been sure that it could possibly be the first one of the third. 

20 July 2014


Hey, ho..I'm back with a non-existent excuse as to the little hiatus. Apart from work and the death of my pet, life has been(to quote a friend of mine)so f**king unfair. That's the thing about life,it has always been weird, blurring the line in between reality and imagination to let you figure it all out and say, "I've got this". Doesn't matter how many times you've broke down, it's about how you stand up and move forward. People ask me why I hate surprises and it isn't under the category of being controlling or whatever the usual deduction would be. I hate the idea that life can throw me a deadly curveball and I wouldn't be prepared to face it. It's not death I'm scared of or breaking down and rebuilding myself all again. I'm done that far too many times to be afraid of it anymore. I'm not scared of the deep dark abyss of life or going back to that zone again, of staying depressed. After a certain time, all these seems comforting. I'm scared of the great unknown, of whether I'll turn into a disaster or be the person I've always ought to be. I've been writing less and painting lesser, both of which wasn't a good thing. The last few days along with the weather, has been amazing. Peaceful and at ease. Things do get better, even if it's for a while, for a fraction of days.

I've been working at The Stylish Sophisticate Magazine, for the past eight months, as an intern and then a creative director. That gives me an opportunity to be surrounded and work with people who are professionals as well as they are extremely nice. I was given an opportunity to transfer my blog under Stylish Sophisticate, so my URL transferred from LovesickLilac.com to lovesicklilac.thestylishsophisticate,com. As far as 2014 goes, in a good way, I have made some amazing friends, ones who help me to stay sane and rise above all difficulties. I'm surrounded by some amazing people and by work. Can't complain much,

As for the outfit goes, I'm wearing two of my most favorite things this season in one. Ripped knee jeans and striped crop top. Probably one of my favorite outfit combination regardless of the stares that I get for the ripped part. Now I'll go back to planning my road-trip, crushing over Petra Collins work and trying to perfect my watercolour painting technique.

13 July 2014


Shirts : Vero Moda, Jeans: H&M, Shoes-Thrifted. Pictures by Jhuma B.

"It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you."
Like all teen and post-teen characteristic cliches(for example listening to One Direction; being a proud fan) and YA novels guilty pleasures, I too fell for it, 'The Fault In Our Stars'. Neither is half as bad or cliche-ish like they say it is. Let's just rip the labels all, shall we? I picked up 'Looking For Alaska' a few months ago at the bookstore and boy, oh I'm glad that I did. Now there are mixed reviews about The Fault In Our stars(and as far as some people would like you to believe it's not about romanticizing cancer). If you've ever experienced enraptured love and the extreme pain of loss, all at once and in a crazily intense way, you'll probably understand what the author was trying to say. So I finally watched the movie today and I liked it. After reading TFIOS for about 5 times before watching the movie, personally I would favor the book but it's unfair to compare and so I am going to stop. Expectedly, the whole theatre cried and fell in love with Augustus Waters(or in my sister's case, Ansel Elgort), all while I realized that I may have a thing for Isaac(or Nat Wolff, I'm not quite sure). As for the tears, I think we have only two people to blame for that, the amazing John Green and Shailene because after all, she narrated the whole thing.

So here's my outfit and it wasn't a great decision because that was an awfully hot day. I need to let go off my obsession with winter and buy myself some more summer appropriate outfits.